Date: May 4, 2018

"Recognizing the envy when my sixtysomething friend boasted that he had recently completed a marathon, I was able to restrain myself from giving rope to the indignant thought, 'Instead of running miles every day, why don't you spend some time tutoring disadvantaged kids!'"

— Marino, Gordon

Date: January 26, 2019

"His mind is not what it was, and at its peak it was more of a Magic 8 Ball than a supercomputer."

— Roth, David

Date: January 26, 2019

"It's because he's literally fucking being investigated for his relationship with Russia and because he very much wants people to think he's not, and because that's honestly the best he can do because his brain is an old donut bobbing around in a toilet."

— Roth, David

Date: February 25, 2019

"Because his brain is like a constantly running toilet, flushing unadulterated effluent through the Twitter pipes, like when he said "I built a lot of wall. I have a lot of money and I built a lot of wall," when not one inch, not one millimeter, of his new wall has been constructed; or his tweet:...

— Burke, Tom

Date: February 26, 2019

"'The Source of Self-Regard' is a book of essays, lectures and meditations, a reminder that the old music is still the best, that in this time of tumult and sadness and continuous war, where tawdry words are blasted about like junk food, and the nation staggers from one crisis to the next, led by...

— McBride, James (b. September 11, 1957)

Date: January 29, 2020

"I would argue that his [Donald Trump's] mind, while a lot of things, including a landfill for the rancid refuse of pure appetite, is not exactly intricate."

— Pierce, Charles P. (b. 1953)

Date: May 28, 2023

"This is an acid bath for human cognition"

— Klein, Ezra (b. May 9, 1984)

Date: May 28, 2023

"And just like on a real whiteboard, there can be a residue in our minds."

— Klein, Ezra (b. May 9, 1984)

Date: December 2, 2019

"It's like there's a radio station playing in my head all the time."

— Hansen, Beck [Beck] (b. July 8, 1970)