« back to search

"But you don't have to have your leg in a bear trap every minute to seriously consider, during the latest entrapment, that maybe just cutting your legs off would be the way to go. In the case of BPD, the offending leg is called 'consciousness'."

— Mishell Baker (b. 2009)

Author

"But you don't have to have your leg in a bear trap every minute to seriously consider, during the latest entrapment, that maybe just cutting your legs off would be the way to go. In the case of BPD, the offending leg is called 'consciousness'."

Metaphor in Context

I'm aware that this is a horrible thing to even think, much less put into writing. And for some of you, unfathomable. "How can you be so selfish?" Well, let's see how selfless you become when your leg is in a bear trap. "Why can't you appreciate all that life has to offer?" Strangely, I do appreciate life. I'm not depressed; I take fierce, daily joy in any number of things, and can name at least ten of them at any given moment (because I have carefully collected them, like medications lined up neatly in a cabinet). It's not life I have a problem with. It's me. Life is an absolutely glorious thing and I'm just… this awful reeking hole right in the middle of it.

I'm fully aware that this is dysphoria talking. I don't feel like this every minute. But you don't have to have your leg in a bear trap every minute to seriously consider, during the latest entrapment, that maybe just cutting your legs off would be the way to go. In the case of BPD, the offending leg is called consciousness.

Mishell Baker (b. 2009)

BPD: The Jar Jar Effect