Sterne, Laurence (1713-1768) [attrib.]

Yorick's Meditations: Upon Various Interesting and Important Subjects

London

Printed for R. Stevens

1760

"THOU art not to learn, oh, reader! or else thy knowledge is very confined, that Momus once upon a time, proposed in a council of the gods, that every man should carry a window in his breast, that his most secret thoughts might be exposed to all others, which would prevent men from having it in their power to impose upon each other."

THOU art not to learn, oh, reader! or else thy knowledge is very confined, that Momus once upon a time, proposed in a council of the gods, that every man should carry a window in his breast, that his most secret thoughts might be exposed to all others, which would prevent men from having it in their power to impose upon each other. Alas! what needs such a glass?--cannot a man of common discernment discover the thoughts and characters of men? No sooner do I fix the organ of vision, which to me answers all the purposes of the above-men-tioned glass; no sooner, I say, do I fix my organ of vision upon a person who is introduced to me, but I immediately see whether he thinks me a rogue, or an honest man, a man of sense, or a fool. At every sentence he utters the expression in his face, shews me what he will say next--Thus nature has done what Momus required; and to the great confusion of rogues, their faces are constantly telling tales of them. Sir, your most humble servant, says Mr.--I look in his face, and see he means, Sir, I don't desire to be troubled with you--Sir, says another, any thing that lies in my power you may command--I look in his face, and see he means, if it was in my power to serve you, I would be very loth to do it--An author sometimes, with an indolent air, says,--that thing I wrote is wretched stuff--'twas wrote in such an hurry--I look in his face, and see that this being interpreted signifies, what I write in a hurry is better than the most elaborate compositions of others. Oh! you ignorant, who are imposed upon by the words of designing men, who afterwards cheat and deceive you--Your misfortunes are intirely owing to your not having learned to read God Almighty's hand-writing, though surely the characters he writes must be very legible. How often does a fellow by the hand of nature, marked, quoted, and signed to do a deed of shame, find means to pass himself upon the unwary for a mirrour of integrity, by no other secret but that of frequently using the cabalistical words, honour, virtue, reputation--wherefore, oh! reader, mark, and take the caution that I give thee here, if thou art not an adebt in physiognomy, if thou hast never learned the art of decyphering countenances, lay down this as a rule, and regulate thy conduct by it. Whenever the phrases, a man's honour should be dearer to him than his life, whatever touches my reputation touches my soul, &c. are frequent in the mouth of any man, draw this conclusion, and depend upon it 'twill never fail--'tis a conclusion, which my own experience has always confirmed--a conclusion, easily supported too by abstract reasonings--Well, but, Sir, let us hear your conclusion; why, Sir, 'tis that the man described above is, saving your presence, a rogue.
(pp. 55-9)

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Yorick's Meditations: Upon Various Interesting and Important Subjects. Viz. Upon Nothing. Upon Something. Upon the Thing. (London: Printed for R. Stevens, 1760). <Link to ECCO-TCP>

10/26/2013