Stanhope, Philip Dormer, fourth earl of Chesterfield (1694-1773)

Letters by the Late Right Honourable Philip Dormer Stanhope Earl of Chesterfield written to his Son Philip Stanhope Esq.

London

Printed for J. Dodsley

1774

"Vanity is unquestionably the ruling passion in women; and it is much flattered by the attentions of a man who is generally esteemed by men; when his merit has received the stamp of their approbation, women make it current, that is to say, put him in fashion."

MY DEAR FRIEND: What success with the graces, and in the accomplishments, elegancies, and all those little nothings so indispensably necessary to constitute an amiable man? Do you take them, do you make a progress in them? The great secret is the art of pleasing; and that art is to be attained by every man who has a good fund of common sense. If you are pleased with any person, examine why; do as he does; and you will charm others by the same things which please you in him. To be liked by women, you must be esteemed by men; and to please men, you must be agreeable to women. Vanity is unquestionably the ruling passion in women; and it is much flattered by the attentions of a man who is generally esteemed by men; when his merit has received the stamp of their approbation, women make it current, that is to say, put him in fashion. On the other hand, if a man has not received the last polish from women, he may be estimable among men, but will never be amiable. The concurrence of the two sexes is as necessary to the perfection of our being, as to the formation of it. Go among women with the good qualities of your sex, and you will acquire from them the softness and the graces of theirs. Men will then add affection to the esteem which they before had for you. Women are the only refiners of the merit of men; it is true, they cannot add weight, but they polish and give lustre to it. 'A propos', I am assured, that Madame de Blot, although she has no great regularity of features, is, notwithstanding, excessively pretty; and that, for all that, she has as yet been scrupulously constant to her husband, though she has now been married above a year. Surely she does not reflect, that woman wants polishing. I would have you polish one another reciprocally. Force, assiduities, attentions, tender looks, and passionate declarations, on your side will produce some irresolute wishes, at least, on hers; and when even the slightest wishes arise, the rest will soon follow.
(LONDON, April 15, O. S. 1751)

Government::Rule and Subjection::Rule of Passion

Searching "passion" in PGDP

At least 32 entries in ESTC (1774, 1775, 1776, 1777, 1786, 1789, 1792, 1793, 1794, 1795, 1797, 1800). In 1774 fourteen letters were first published under the title The Art of Pleasing. See also Letters to his Son Philip Stanhope, 2 vols. (1774); then published in four volumes the same year. Additional letters collected in Miscellaneous Works (1777).

Reading David Roberts' edition of Lord Chesterfield's Letters (Oxford: OUP, 1998); and searching text from Project Gutenberg <Link>

Consulting and citing, where possible, Letters Written by the late Right Honourable Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield, to his son, Philip Stanhope, Esq. (London: Printed for J. Dodsley, 1774). <Link to ECCO>

See also Miscellaneous Works of the late Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield: Consisting of letters to his Friends, never before printed, and Various Other Articles. 2 vols. (London: Printed for Edward and Charles Dilly, 1777). <Link to ECCO>

Ruling Passion

06/21/2013