Stanhope, Philip Dormer, fourth earl of Chesterfield (1694-1773)

Letters by the Late Right Honourable Philip Dormer Stanhope Earl of Chesterfield written to his Son Philip Stanhope Esq.

London

Printed for J. Dodsley

1774

"A parcel of warm hearts and inexperienced heads, heated by convivial mirth, and possibly a little too much wine, vow, and really mean at the time, eternal friendships to each other, and indiscreetly pour out their whole souls in common, and without the least reserve."

Be upon your guard against those who upon very slight acquaintance, obtrude their unasked and unmerited friendship and confidence upon you; for they probably cram you with them only for their own eating; but, at the same time, do not roughly reject them upon that general supposition. Examine further, and see whether those unexpected offers flow from a warm heart and a silly head, or from a designing head and a cold heart; for knavery and folly have often the same symptoms. In the first case, there is no danger in accepting them, 'valeant quantum valere possunt'. In the latter case, it may be useful to seem to accept them, and artfully to turn the battery upon him who raised it. There is an incontinency of friendship among young fellows, who are associated by their mutual pleasures only, which has, very frequently, bad consequences. A parcel of warm hearts and inexperienced heads, heated by convivial mirth, and possibly a little too much wine, vow, and really mean at the time, eternal friendships to each other, and indiscreetly pour out their whole souls in common, and without the least reserve. These confidences are as indiscreetly repealed as they were made; for new pleasures and new places soon dissolve this ill-cemented connection; and then very ill uses are made of these rash confidences. Bear your part, however, in young companies; nay, excel, if you can, in all the social and convivial joy and festivity that become youth. Trust them with your love tales, if you please; but keep your serious views secret. Trust those only to some tried friend, more experienced than yourself, and who, being in a different walk of life from you, is not likely to become your rival; for I would not advise you to depend so much upon the heroic virtue of mankind, as to hope or believe that your competitor will ever be your friend, as to the object of that competition.
(II.clxxvii, LONDON, December 19, O. S. 1749)

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At least 32 entries in ESTC (1774, 1775, 1776, 1777, 1786, 1789, 1792, 1793, 1794, 1795, 1797, 1800). In 1774 fourteen letters were first published under the title The Art of Pleasing. See also Letters to his Son Philip Stanhope, 2 vols. (1774); then published in four volumes the same year. Additional letters collected in Miscellaneous Works (1777).

Reading David Roberts' edition of Lord Chesterfield's Letters (Oxford: OUP, 1998); and searching text from Project Gutenberg <Link>

Consulting and citing, where possible, Letters Written by the late Right Honourable Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield, to his son, Philip Stanhope, Esq. (London: Printed for J. Dodsley, 1774). <Link to ECCO>

See also Miscellaneous Works of the late Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield: Consisting of letters to his Friends, never before printed, and Various Other Articles. 2 vols. (London: Printed for Edward and Charles Dilly, 1777). <Link to ECCO>

06/21/2013