Fielding, Sarah (1710-1768) and Jane Collier (bap. 1715, d. 1755)

The Cry: A New Dramatic Fable

London

Printed for R. and J. Dodsley in Pall Mall

1754

"But there is one part of my unhappy story which I would wish to blot for ever from my memory;"

Cylinda. O Portia, your story is such a contrasting picture to my own follies, and sets them all so glaring to my view, that the hateful sight fills me with horror, and makes me wish to hide myself for ever from all human eyes. My life hath been (without a metaphor) a tale told by an idiot, and my imagination a strutting player, full of sound and fury signifying nothing. I have from my youth been playing juglers tricks with my mind, instead of planting there any seed which could produce me pleasure or real advantage. For whilst in my own wild ravings I was erecting monarchies in my breast, and placed there kings and emperors agreeable to my unbridled fancy, I now too plainly see that I was inviting cruel tyrants into my bosom; and whilst I rejoiced in my unbounded liberty, I was under the most abject thraldom. My life may properly be called the triumph of the imagination, as yours, Portia, is of the judgment: the errors of my past principles and vain philosophy being renounced, I might hope to tread a more secure and ready path to happiness. But there is one part of my unhappy story which I would wish to blot for ever from my memory; for how can I bear, O Portia, to reflect, that by ruining Nicanor I was the cause of all the ills you have undergone! Had not that unhappy man's passion for me so blinded his eyes as to make him impoverish the best of sons,Ferdinand would have married you, without having been ensnared by strange incidents and circumstances into indulging that only fault of his nature, his refined bent of humour. You and your beloved Ferdinand, had I not engaged Nicanor's heart, would have enjoyed the uncommon fate of indulging a reciprocal affection without passing over sharp briers and thorns, by which too often the mind is disabled from tasting any happiness even in its utmost wish. Thus whilst I vainly cherished that favourite principle, that I injured no one by my fantastic conduct but myself, I laid the foundation for a scene of misery for the only human creature I ever wish'd to call by the name of friend. With shame and remorse I own my error; and by fatal experience am convinced, that no creature placed in a social community can injure himself alone. Should you, Portia, have generosity and greatness of mind enough to forgive me this injury I have done you, yet can I never forgive myself. --Here interruptingCylinda, Portia thus addressed her.
(pp. 279-81)

Writing::Blotting

Searching "blot" and "memory" in HDIS (Prose)

2 entries in ESTC (1754).

See Fielding, Sarah and Jane Collier, The Cry: A New Dramatic Fable, 3 vols. (London: Printed for R. and J. Dodsley in Pall Mall, 1754). <Link to ESTC>

03/25/2005