Haywood [née Fowler], Eliza (1693?-1756)

Love in Excess: or the Fatal Enquiry, a Novel

London

1719-1720, 1725

"I am not vain enough of mine [beauty], to assure my self of making a Conquest of your Heart."

But how great was my Disappointment, when being admitted, I could distinguish, tho' the Place was very dark, that I was receiv'd but by one, and accosted by her in a manner very different from what I expected: I know not, Monsieur, said she, how you interpret this Freedom I have taken; but whatever we pretend, our Sex, of all Indignities, can the least support those done to our Beauty: I am not vain enough of mine, to assure my self of making a Conquest of your Heart; and if the World should know you have seen and refus'd me, my slighted Charms would be the Theme of Mirth to those whose Envy now they are: I therefore beg, that if I am dislik'd, none but my self may know it; when you have seen my Face, which you shall do immediately, give me your Opinion freely; and if it is not to my Advantage, make some pretence to my Father to avoid coming to our House. I protest to you, my Lord, that I was so surpriz'd at this odd kind of Proceeding, that I knew not presently how to reply; which she imagining by my Silence: Come, come, Monsieur, said she, I am not yet on even Terms with you, having often seen your Face, and you wholly a Stranger to mine: But when our Knowledge of each other is mutual, I hope you will be as free in your Declaration as I have been in my Request. These Words I thought were as proper for my Purpose as I cou'd wish; and drawing back a little, as she was about to lead me: Madam, said I, since you have that Advantage, methinks it were but just you should reveal what sort of Sentiments the Sight of me has inspir'd, for I have too much Reason, from the Knowledge of my Demerit, to fear you have no other Design in exposing your Charms, than to triumph in the captivating a Heart you have already doom'd to Misery. I will tell you nothing, answer'd she, of my Sentiments 'till I have a perfect Knowledge of yours. As she spoke this, she gave me her Hand to conduct me out of that Place of Darkness. As we went, I had all the Concern at the Apprehension of being too much approv'd of by this young Lady, as I should have had for the contrary, if I had imagin'd who it was I had been talking with; for as soon as we came out of the Grotto, I saw by the Light of the Moon, which shone that Night with an uncommon Lustre, the Face which in those Gardens had before charm'd me, and which had never since been absent from my Thoughts. What Joy? What a Mixture of Extacy and Wonder, then fill'd my raptur'd Soul at this second View? I could not presently trust my Eyes, or think my Happiness was real: I gaz'd, and gaz'd again, in silent Transport, for the big Bliss surpass'd the reach of Words. What, Monsieur, said she, observing my Confusion, are you yet dumb? Is there any thing so dreadful in the Form of Violetta, to deprive you of your Speech? No, Madam, reply'd I, 'tis not Violetta has that Power, but she, who unknowing that she did so, caught at first sight the Victory o're my Soul; She! for whom I have vented so many Sighs! She for whom I languish'd and almost dy'd for, while Violetta was at Vitterbo: She! The Divine Camilla, only cou'd inspire a Passion such as mine! --Oh Heavens! cry'd she, and that instant I perceiv'd her lovely Face all crimson'd o're with Blushes; is it then possible that you know me, have seen me before, and that I have been able to make any Impression on you? I then told her of the Visit I had made to Ciamara with Cittolini, and how by his leaving me in the Marble-Study, I had been blest with the Sight of her; and from his Friend became his Rival: I let her know the Conflicts my Honour and my Obligations to Cittolini had engag'd me in; the thousand various Inventions Love had suggested to me, to obtain that Happiness I now enjoy'd, the Opportunity of declaring my self her Slave; and in short, conceal'd not the least Thought, tending to my Passion, from her. She, in Requital, acquainted me, that she had often seen me from her Window, go into the Convent of St. Francis, walking in the Collonade at St. Peter's, and in several other Places, and prompted by an Extravagance of good Nature and Generosity, confess'd, that her Heart felt something at those Views, very prejudicial to her Repose: That Cittolini, always disagreeable, was now grown odious; that the Discourse she had heard of my intended Marriage with his Daughter, had given her an Alarm impossible to be express'd; and that, unable longer to support the Pangs of undiscover'd Passion, she had writ to me in that Lady's Name, who she knew I had never seen, resolving, if I lik'd her as Violetta, to own herself as Camilla; if not, to go the next Day to a Monastery, and devote to Heaven those Charms which wanted force to make a Conquest, where alone she wish'd they should.
(pp. 186-9)

War::Conquest::Conquer Heart

Searching "conque" and "heart" in HDIS (Prose)

At least 12 entries in ESTC (1719, 1720, 1721, 1722, 1724, 1725, 1732, 1742).

Published in 3 parts in 1719-1720. <Part 1, ESTC><Part 2, ESTC><Part 3, ESTC>

See Eliza Haywood, Love in Excess: or the Fatal Enquiry, a Novel (London: Printed for W. Chetwood; and R. Francklin; and sold by J. Roberts, 1719). <Link to ECCO>

Text from Vol. 1 of Secret Histories, Novels and Poems. In Four Volumes. Written by Mrs. Eliza Haywood. (London: Printed [partly by Samuel Aris] for Dan. Browne, jun. at the Black Swan without Temple-Bar; and S. Chapman, at the Angel in Pall-Mall, 1725). <Link to ESTC><Link to LION>

01/20/2005

04/04/2012